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Yule be sorry if you trust me to organise Christmas

As discussed in last week’s column, I have completely re-assessed Christmas this year, and am refusing to purchase any extraneous festive junk (aka landfill).

As a result I’m probably not that pleasant to be around, but so be it. “Are we putting up a tree, Mum?” said my unsuspecting son, to be answered with a gruff, “No”.

“A wreath on the door?” Nuh uh.

He is an even-tempered, very positive young man so he kept trying.

“I’ve bought really great gifts for everyone this year, ” he said hopefully.

I went into my bedroom to locate the leftover wrapping paper from last year. After a long forage, I found them, under the ironing board (which I didn’t actually use this year).

There’s no wreath on the Clements’ door this – not unless it’s second hand. Photo: Getty

I brushed the daddy long legs spiders off some long tubes of crumples paper adorned with jaunty reindeers and plopped them on the table.

“Voila!” I said. “Ribbon?” he ventured.

I rooted around in the odds and sods drawer and found some ribbons that had La Prairie printed on them.

“That’ll do the trick”. I even found sticky tape, even though it took an hour to find the end bit and we had to hack at it with scissors. I was thrilled at my newfound thriftiness.

It’s amazing how infectious apathy is. I opened another cupboard and discovered a fake poinsettia, wrapped in brown hessian. It’s rather cute, I bought it at Pottery Barn in the US about three years ago because I got sucked in by their superb Christmas store merchandising, but it has certainly seen better days.

Maybe I could press the fabric leaves with the iron I haven’t used? I wiped the dust off it and placed it on the dining table. Décor done.

“Look, a cheerful, small porcelain Tiffany dish with a lid, decorated with holly, that someone, I cant remember who, gave me for Christmas one year,” I said, unearthing more forgotten knick-knacks.

“Where can I put this, it has a bit of a festive je nais cest quoi, doesn’t it?” I asked my son. He looked challenged.

She’s laughing because she doesn’t know that Christmas pudding is re-gifted from last year. Photo: Getty

But I was really getting into this new Grinch vibe. I went deeper into my dressing room drawers, looking for re-gifting opportunities. I found a scarf, some hand cream and a wallet with a zip that’s a bit dodgy. Buried treasure!

Shortly after, I went for a walk in the park and found some pine cones scattered around the base of the trees. More no cost, no carbon emission table decorations! This was fun.

I checked the kitchen cupboards. There was a random Christmas pudding, given to me last year, but I figure they last for approximately 10 to 15 years so there was dessert sorted. No one sends Christmas cards anymore, just those soulless e-cards, so that was never on the agenda.

So now, Christmas dinner? What to do about that? I turned around to ask my son. “I’ve thought about that,” he said. “I’ll do the cooking.”

My plan worked perfectly.

The post Yule be sorry if you trust me to organise Christmas appeared first on The New Daily.


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